Hola, me llama Anissa, tengo diecisiete años, y soy de Filipinas. Te Bienvenido a mi blog. Yes, that is my face next to Lin-Manuel Miranda’s. (Thank you Dianne for sending me that picture)

I don’t know what in the world possessed you to click a username like mine, but okay.

A couple of things you should know:

1. Yes, my URL has the word orgasm in it, but this is not a porn blog. Well, not the nakedbodypenisvaginaboobcumshotextravaganzapart5 type of porn at least. Nope, the only porn you’ll find up in here is the food kind, and the goddamnthismanissoattractivehemightaswellbewalking porn.

2. Red Velvet. I am in love with red velvet cupcakes. I married a red velvet cupcake and also Aared Tveilvet. You will see a lot of red velvet on my blog.

3. My life has turned into a sitcom. No, really.

4. I watch way too many TV shows, mostly shows that are supposed to be making me laugh but end up sucking me into their bottomless whirlpool of emotion salad turning me into an illiterate key smashing spazz.

5. I love musicals. I guess you can say I’m a regular local theatergoer. All my allowance goes to show tickets. Movie musicals, musical episodes of TV shows, whatever, I love them. Maybe someday I’ll live in New York and work for some Broadway show and do their ads or something… maybe make a movie called Aarbud Tveit. I don’t know, man, that’d be a great movie.

6. A cappella. Oh, if I could sing well or beatbox properly, I would’ve formed an a cappella group by now, but no, I have neither of those talents, so here I am, stuck watching a cappella groups on YouTube and The Sing-Off, wishing I could be part of that world. 

7. One day, I will work for NBC and somehow work my way into SNL and steal Seth Meyers and his job. Watch out, world, you have a couple of years to prepare yourselves for the first Asian Weekend Update anchor.

8. When I get bored and stressed, I doodle. Usually based on song lyrics of whatever’s stuck in my head or is playing on iTunes. I post these sometimes.

9. Bad puns are the best.

10. I name my things. I have Nard Dog my MacBook Pro, Jean-Ralphio my iPhone, T-Bone my HD media player… no, I do NOT like NBC comedies… Klaus my Instax wide, and Kristofferson my Instax mini. (I do not own a digital camera)

11. I talk to myself a lot, hence the long “about me”. I whine. A lot. I always put my whining under a read more.

12. Sometimes I like to believe that I was a gay man in my past life.

13. I am incredibly awkward. Yes.

14. For some reason, askboxes never worked for me. I always get this:

so as much as I’d love to bug a million people on here, I can’t, and sometimes I have to stick with sending messages through fanmail (which sucks because of those “send me a number/symbol and i’ll answer the question”). YOU can get up on my ask whenever you want to though… just so y’all know.

15. I have one of those twitter things, but it’s private, so if you feel like following me for some reason, just askbox me or something telling me which one you are and yes.

16. I AM Justice Beaver.